10:36 Host: "Jason had a change of heart, let's welcome Molly!"
10:37 Clips of when The Host and Jason talked about how Jason couldn't stop thinking about Molly so he ended things with Melissa, his heart couldn't let go of Molly, his heart is somewhere else, with Molly. He's still in love with Molly, obviously! Then Molly walks into the studio! The live studio audience is screaming all over the place!
10:38 Molly: "What about how you proposed marriage to Melissa like two weeks ago? And you totally kicked me out of the competition and were like, get out of here, skank? We don't need you in the hot tub at the mansion anymore? And you even gave Melissa an engagement ring and such? What about my needs???"
10:39 Jason: "It was super mean for me to do that to Melissa, but I'm a sociopath, so that's all good. Let's go out for a drink!"
10:39 Molly: "I am confused. But this validation feels awesome!"
10:41 Host: "This has been exciting for everyone in America!"
10:42 Molly: "There have been lots of rumors going around, but we are real people and not actors on television! Luckily I have Jason to lean on and we're really happy, despite the fact that he obviously has some major mental problems! He is so emotionally stunted, maybe he was abused as a child?"
After the commercial break
10:47 The happy couple (Molly and Jason) are back together in the studio! They're groping each other!
10:48 Host: "You must really love her to go through all of this in public!"
10:49 Jason: "Yeah it was really weird, it's almost as if we didn't actively audition to be on these reality shows in order to be on television so that America can watch us as we pantomime a stunted and rehearsed reenactment of what dating is like in regular life!"
10:49 Jason: "We are so in love!"
10:50 (awkward kiss for the camera) Molly: "I am moving to Seattle!"
10:51 Jason: "Just be honest, that's the lesson here. We are so happy! Follow your heart! Various things that people say about the journeys that people take when they're stars of reality television dating shows!"
10:52 Host: "We're going to announce the next Bachelorette after the commercial break!"
(I am now cutting myself with a sharpened coat hanger, laying prone on the carpet in my living room)
10:55 Host: "The next Bachelorette is Jillian, and she's from Canada! And she's so much fun like most Canadians are!"
I have to go to the hospital now for the various injuries that I have caused myself while watching this show, good night!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment